Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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