You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
