I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
