She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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