Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
