let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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