I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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