3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
