Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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