you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
