if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
