Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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