I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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