I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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