would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
