our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
