it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
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It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
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The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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