Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
