Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
