butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
