We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
