And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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