I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
