You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
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