I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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