new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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