Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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