I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
