You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
