He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
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Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
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Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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