When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
