just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
