I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
