dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Dignity is for republicans.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
