i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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