That's intense
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Randomize
