I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
