Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
