My brain says no but my pants say off.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
