Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
