Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
