why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
