yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
My life is pants optional.
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