I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
