Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
This is my gift to your gina
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
