So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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