i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize