Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
