This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
soo... how was my night?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
