he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
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Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Vodka?
Forever.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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