Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
