how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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