just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
our cab driver is having phone sex.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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