Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
"it" just moved
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
thus making me awesome and them whores
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
