If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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