some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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