i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
