if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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