I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Someone shattered a urinal.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
